Holy fucking shit, Chad Ocho Cinco, aka Chad Johnson aka retarded name change, is coming out with an Ocho Cinco condom line. He says they'll catch any thing a Johnson can throw. Holy fucking shit, I'm buying four thousand. I'll buy five thousand if you can customize them with catchphrases and graphics. Nothing says safe sex like a big "Ay Carumba" going up and down my shaft or a picture of me giving me a thumbs up.
Even though wearing a condom blows, I'll definitely start wearing them. Maybe I'll start wearing them during the day. No I won't.
Condoms haven't been this cool since Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes wore one on her, well, left eye. But no one has done it since. This is one of those dare to be great situations for you, Khloe Kardashian.
Goddard Out.
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