Part Four: Hawaiian or Tommy Bahama shirts
Hawaiian shirts walk a fine line. Tommy Bahama even says that it’s “island inspired”.
Who should wear it: anyone living near or on a tropical coast or location, old men who get dressed by their wives, token fat dudes in 80s comedies.
What the guys think it says about them: Old men think, “Most people should assume I have recently returned from a vacation or that my name is Tommy.” Young men think, “I look like a fucking asshole. I have no other clean shirts but this one. I better get wasted to play it off.”
What women think: Older women think, “My husband/boyfriend looks like he has a timeshare in Cabo. I have such good taste.” Younger women think, “I bet his dad regifted that.”
What the shirt really says: Old men, “Some day, I’ll retire in a tropical location.” Young men, “I feel like I shacked with Jimmy Buffett.”
Recommendations: Old guys can pull it off. Young guys only on location.
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