Part 2

After I crushed the Prairie Fire shot, I took a deep breath in and asked my friends what we were doing. For purposes of anonymity, I'll substitute all my friends names with characters from the cartoon Doug. So Porkchop, Skeeter, and Chalky shrugged. They seemed content with just staying at the bar we were drinking at. "Fuck that," Roger said. Only two minutes ago had he seen his ex-girlfriend. They didn't end it too well. He thought her refusal to try anal was a sign that she wasn't wife material. All her friends were there and every so often, I'd look over and they would start giggling as if Roger's ex was telling all those stories when he couldn't get it up.

Roger sighed, "I haven't been this embarrassed since I had to take a shit at the Hawk and the door was broken." Roger was one of the only people with sufficient self-confidence and exceptional leg strength to be able to hoverdump at a bar. Skeeter spoke up, "Who's driving?" Chalky motioned and we left.

The next bar was more attuned to our age group. Roger was pretty upset about seeing his ex and went directly to the bar and started taking shots alone. Skeeter and Chalky found a place to sit, and Porkchop and I approached the bar. I started laughing as we got to the bar. I saw a girl that Porkchop had, well, porked over the summer. I guess you could say he degraded her. He didn't have the common decency to change the sheets he'd pissed the night previous. It also didn't help that he told us the next morning that her bush looked like Fidel Castro's face. Once Porkchop saw his old flame, and yeah her hair was red, he was in the same boat as Roger.

Part 3 on the way.

Goddard out.

Superheroes

With all these new superhero movies like Watchmen and X-Men Origins Wolverine, I decided to do a tribute to a lesser known superhero. I've never heard of him and you probably haven't either. His name is Extrano. He's of Hispanic origin and guess what, he's gay. He's an openly gay DC Comics superhero. Other than that, I don't think there's anything remarkable about him. Just look at him. He looks like Zorro busted a nut on Liberace's dry cleaning. His super powers consist of making great strawberry daiquiris and excellent grooming. Nothing against gay people but I really don't see why this character is there. And the worst has yet to come. In an issue, he's facing a villain who's HIV positive and everyone's worried about him being infected but oh wait, he already has it. So for all of you who are waiting for an Extrano movie with Benecio del Toro, you'd be better off waiting for Plan B pills in different flavors.

Goddard out.