I was studying at the library on Tuesday evening when I looked over and saw this. It was in bumpersticker form on a laptop belonging to a true student of liberalism and an avid fan of not exercise. Before I could formulate an insult to this scrot-goblin (for those who do not combine words, scrot-goblin: scrotum goblin), I noticed he had a second bumpersticker. You know the ones that say, "Welcome to Las Vegas". It made me think.
It made me think that this guy is a hypocrite. He had both "Denounce Torture" and "Welcome to Las Vegas" bumpersticks on his laptop. Who the fuck are you kidding? When you go to Vegas all you do is torture people. You drink. You torture your liver. When you're too drunk to stand, you torture your friends holding you up. When you lose money at the craps table, you torture your bank account. When you piss your bed, you torture housekeeping who has to wash your yellow sheets. When you say to the stripper, "Come to Papa", she thinks back to how her Papa used to rest his sack in her eyesockets, and you torture the stripper. When you check out and complain to the person at the front desk about how you shouldn't be charged for the vomit stains in the elevator, you torture that person. Even the city's slogan, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", might as well mean when you torture people in Vegas you only do it in Vegas.
So, think again you Ethan Suplee stunt double. Torture and Las Vegas are the same damn thing.
I never did deliver that insult. Talk about denouncing torture.
Goddard Out.
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