After the Super Bowl which entailed a severe regiment of day-drinking, I, along with a few friends, decided to head back out to the bars. The bar we went to was not one of the ordinary establishments we visit. Needless to say, the consensus to leave came quickly.
Here’s five things that should indicate you to leave the bar immediately.
5. The girl-to-guy ratio is so poor that hypothetically every girl would be involved in a seven-way.
4. The bartender just realized you gave him a Barnes and Noble gift card to open a tab.
3. The DJ is playing a chopped and screwed version of Dido’s “Thank You”.
2. You just bummed a menthol off a homeless black guy with six teeth and a vibrating cock ring on his finger.
1. The coke’s gone.
Goddard Out.
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