If you’ve been listening to Top 40 radio stations, then you’ve probably wanted to cut your own eyes out. I only say this because of the heavily saturated play of Owl City’s self-mutilating single “Fireflies”. You’re probably wondering why I have such a vendetta with this particular song. To start, the lyrics are beyond idiotic. In the song, the singer describes how when he falls asleep at night that ten million fireflies light up the world.
You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Actually, I’ll disagree. I would believe it if I saw one hundred fireflies. Where the fuck is this guy living? His landlord must be pissed every time this guy takes a nap. And how annoying for his neighbors or roommates or people walking by to have a fucking swarm of lightning bugs roll up every time this guy dozes off. If this guy passed out at my house during a party, he’d probably get his ass kicked for bringing in an almost biblical plague.
The music video is no better. The lead singer of Owl City is playing a keyboard in what appears to be a young child’s room. There’s a train set, a toy robot, and a bunch of other toys and shit flashing and moving around. So, what’s this guy doing in this room? One can assume two possible reasons: he’s either getting ready to beat up his little brother OR he’s getting ready to kidnap and ransom a child.
Well, when this guy falls asleep, the police can track this perv by looking for a huge swarm of fireflies.
Goddard Out.
You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Actually, I’ll disagree. I would believe it if I saw one hundred fireflies. Where the fuck is this guy living? His landlord must be pissed every time this guy takes a nap. And how annoying for his neighbors or roommates or people walking by to have a fucking swarm of lightning bugs roll up every time this guy dozes off. If this guy passed out at my house during a party, he’d probably get his ass kicked for bringing in an almost biblical plague.
The music video is no better. The lead singer of Owl City is playing a keyboard in what appears to be a young child’s room. There’s a train set, a toy robot, and a bunch of other toys and shit flashing and moving around. So, what’s this guy doing in this room? One can assume two possible reasons: he’s either getting ready to beat up his little brother OR he’s getting ready to kidnap and ransom a child.
Well, when this guy falls asleep, the police can track this perv by looking for a huge swarm of fireflies.
Goddard Out.
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